Yesterday, I had the lightest chemo session ever! I prayed to God the night before that my fears would vanish. I prayed that the needle would penetrate with the least pain and that the doctor would get the right spot on the first attempt. It makes me more nervous if the needle has to be inserted in the veins twice or thrice. I imagine the skin being pierced and the needle is being pushed inside the veins. It is painful but I hold my breath as the needle finds its way inside the tiny veins. I prayed to God to give me a very happy chemo session yesterday. And indeed, it was! I txted friends on the way to the doctor's clinic informing them that I will have my chemo and I need prayers so that It would be easy and happy. I arrived at the clinic at 1pm sharp. After checking in with the nurse, I bought the needles and the dextrose bottle and chords. I brought the Bondronat vial with me. That is the medicine for the bone metastasis. I had the infusion at 2pm till 3pm. The clinic was bursting with so many patients yesterday evidence that more and more people are having cancer.

As the chemo was going on, I tried so much to deviate my attention from the dripping liquid inside the dextrose bottle into the transparent chords, into the tiny needle and into my veins. If I just look at the dripping and count them each time, it would seem endless. What I did was, I talked to the other cancer patients inside the room. We exchanged stories. Honestly, I was trying to find a common denominator why we had cancer. Even the doctors could not pinpoint what causes cancer until this time of great technology. They say cancer can be determined 5 yrs even before it occurs, but none of them can definitely say what causes it.

Before i knew it, the chemo was over! Ohhh Thank God, it was an hour of painless infusion. All my cells are jumping with joy as the nurse removes the surgical tapes around and pulls out the needle embedded inside the vein. Ahh, what a relief it is!

After that, the doctor examined the growing tumors in the left breast. He sat in despair after seing the progressing cancer tumors. He looked so desperate, sad as he kept quiet. I could read his mind. He thinks it's hopeless. But I tried to cheer him up. I said, "dont worry Doc!" I feel great! I feel stronger than last month. I had 3 weeks off and on diarrhea 2 months ago, and I have recovered from the loss of weight ( I lost 11 lbs.).
I even told him I am going to the holy mass daily and I treat the consecrated host as the best medicine for my cancer. He cheered up and smiled at me. He said, a big "Yes."

Now, he recommends another round of regular chemotherapy. He gave me Genocitabine and Carboplatin as chemo drugs. He said I will have the infusion every week for 3 months and then if it works well, he will continue another 3 months. More infusions to come then.

As of now, I am still asking God if I should go on with this cycle of chemo. My doctor recommends the best for me and he recommends according to what he learned from medical school. How I wish they would include the Science of Immunology in the Medical Profession. How I wish and pray that God will bring forth a natural cure for cancer. To tell you the truth, I am as scared as ever. Having this as my 5th chemo session in 4 years, it is not a thing to look forward to. I have had several kinds of drugs for my chemo in my last 4 sessions. The cancer cells become resistant to the drug and causes the cancer cells to mutate if the same kind of drug is used again. Thus, the changing of chemo drug to be used. I have observed also one little thing as I go thru chemo. Women are more courageous than men when it comes to facing sickness, protocols and needles. No offense to the male species, it is just a personal observation. If you don't agree, it would be well taken.

If God tells the mountain to jump into the sea, it will jump into the sea. If God can move mountains, He can move this turmors out! Let us therefore ask God to tell all the cancer cells to jump, not into the sea, but in the grueling hot sun, to be burned forever and end the damage it causes to the people of God. Let us in one voice, wish and pray that God will bring forth a natural cure for cancer, better yet, let us pray that God would vanish cancer in the face of this planet earth. I have received emails saying the fruit "guavano" is a cure for cancer. May a thorough and extensive study be done on it so that chemotherapy and radiation will be put to rest. Amen.

Another cancer patient died and will be buried today, my favorite president, Cory Aquino. I couldnt help but shed tears as I see the yellow ribbons billowing in the wind and rain. I remember the people power where I actively participated. I remember tying those yellow ribbons in my area in Manila. I was part of the EDSA Revolution. Today, we lay to rest another hero like her husband. Ninoy gave his life believing the Filipinos are worth dying for. Cory gave her life so that she could pray to God in heaven for the cure of cancer patients she left behind (on earth). God bless their souls! What a way to go to the departure area and happily arrive at the final destination! We too will have our iteneraries. We will go to the pre departure area, sitting comfortably at the waiting launge, then get into the departure area and have our peaceful, non turbulent journey, hoping we too will arrive at our final destination. What i know, our final destination is heaven. Well, we all have our time. May we live on earth with goals of serving others and following God's will. Amen.

love,
Magne

I went to my doctor last Tuesday. He examined the growing lumps in my left breast. He seemed sad and discouraged. He reviewed my records and realized I have had 4 chemotherapy since 2006. He seems confused as he does not want to give me further chemo, if only possible.

I asked him, What shall we do now? He sat, quiet, and said, there are many other brands of chemo we can use on you. I'm thinking of giving you the regular chemo, not the tablet anymore.

He even exclaimed "but the tablet worked for you nicely, isnt it? how come those on the left breast are still growing? He also said, I hate giving chemotherapy to my patients. If there is something we can give, other than chemo, we will do so.

As of now, he is conducting a clinical trial, called Rexin G and Rex immune. He asked if i want to be in the program. I should have the injection of that vial (2 vials actually per session), daily. It is in Alabang, Muntinlupa Rizal.

Wow, just commuting there for 2 hours one way is already an ordeal, I said. It is a trial, not a sure cure. Well, chemo is not a sure cure either. What is sure in this life, anyway? We are not even sure if we will wake up the next day, isnt it?

Anyway, since I really feel weak and my nerves are still trembling, i requested him to give me time to build my immune system. The traces of my last chemo is still on me. I lost 11 pounds due to off and on diarrhea. I cannot take further chemo at this time. I am certain i will die of the chemo effects, not of cancer, if i go on with it.

Anyway, he consented. He said I better take more supplements and he will see after a month. He even prescribed one brand.

I urge all of you to help me pray that all cancer cells be healed by the supplements which will enhance my immune system. Please lets all ask God to put chemotherapy and radiation in the pages of history. Help me pray that the science of immunology be the answer to cancer. I am putting my life to this experiment. I have undergone clinical trials in the past, but it did not really work wonders. I still have the friendly cancer cells.
Let us storm the heavens so that a natural cure for cancer will be discovered. Enhancing the immune system is the cure. Chemo kills the cancer cells but kills also the good cells. It causes the CBC platelets to dive down. The toxic chemo chemicals damages the liver and the heart, besides the blood. We got cancer due to the lowering stamina of the immune system. Why cant we just build the immune system again to deplete all cancer cells?

I am doing this experiment on my life, for the reversal of chemo to the natural method of building the immune system. Please help me pray for a good result. We have 30 days to ask God for a natural cure for cancer. May we all be successful in this endeavor.
May God heal me for HIS greater glory, may God heal me through natural means, to help so many other cancer patients. Don't worry about me, Im prepared for any outcome. Let's all be hopeful and positive!

From the day a cancer patient is diagnosed, her cancer journey begins. What follows are a few days or weeks of tearful denial, asking oneself whether to shout out loud to the world, "I have cancer!" or keep everything as a delicate secret. After a lot of meditation, pondering and thinking real deeply, it's finally lifting the veil! Alas, at last comes accepting the truth of the matter. Gosh....What a relief!

Since I had cancer, I have appreciated life's journey more! I always noticed the stages of the moon (from the new moon to full moon), I felt happier sniffing the air and enjoying the morning sun or even more playful with the cold rain. Each day is a journey!

One journey I would like to take note and would love to relate to you today is the respite at Anilao, Batangas last June 5, 6 and 7, 2009. This very happy event was sponsored by the Carewell Foundation. I myself was not feeling good that day, but I went just the same, knowing I will be happy communing with mother nature and interacting with other cancer patients as well. We left Carewell office in Makati, Philippines at 10am.

We arrived at Balai Resort, Anilao, Batangas at 3pm. We went to our respective rooms, 3 persons in a room. The cottages were facing the mighty body of water, the South China Sea! It was high tide and the waves were roaring like an angry lion ready to devour. I stayed at the dining hall facing the sea. I wanted to get as much air in my lungs as my air sacks could contain. The rain was intermittent but we were able to enjoy the first day. Buffet was served each meal.

The second day, Saturday, we had different activities. Some stayed in the beach, some played games, some had bible sharings. There's no definite program. Whatever makes each one relaxed is ok. We had bible reading and sharings after breakfast, then had a series of games (Taboo). At night, there was dancing before dinner.

Sunday after lunch is the time to go home. It's time to take all the shells I can gather from the sea, take all the sea breeze into my lungs and stare at the big trees and the beautiful slopes and hills. Time to say goodbye to the birds and crickets, time to say goodbye to the peaceful resort, and wave goodbye to the deep sea, lashing the great crags on the shore. Time to return to the buzzing and busy city of Makati and Manila.

Although I had fever and bad stomach all thru the 3 days, I still thank God I made it to that restful weekend.

Thank you Lord for Carewell Foundation which gives a place to all cancer patients who want to feel they are not alone in their cancer journey. Thank you for your love which we experience in the air we breath, in the water we drink, in the food we eat, in the friends you bring our way, for the family we have! Thank you Lord for another happy journey with you!

For anyone who knows of a cancer patient, you can help him/her by referring them to a cancer support group. Carewell is one of them. You can contact me for more details.

A Happy and Safe Journey Everyone!

I always tell my co-patients at the cancer support group that the results of tests are just on paper. It’s not on my body. There is hope! We will get well! And yet, when I am alone and in pain, I shed tears of hopelessness. I sometimes tell myself to give up the fight, to just rest in peace and stop all the tiring medical procedures. I am tired after 4 years of dealing with chemo and medical exams.

Yet, after praying, the spirit of God tells me to cheer up! It’s not a fight! It's a way to gain tickets to heaven! Life here on earth is happy and rewarding. The song goes—“Hoooo, Heaven is a place on earth…” should be a song I must be humming when I am in pain. And of course, my favorite theme song "I will survive". May I be able to continue inspiring other cancer patients to face death with cheerfulness and readiness to face the Lord. May I be able to do more good things and spread more love for all mankind in my own little way.

One thing I now realize is that we don't need to have cancer or any critical illness to give more time to prayer. We need not get sick to seek holiness and devote more time talking to God! The 24 hours a day is more than enough to show our gratefulness to God and cheerfulness to our fellowmen.

Let's continue to pray for one another and be one in praying that God may bring forth a natural cure for cancer and put chemotherapy and radiation in the world of oblivion! Amen!

I have great news! I had blood exams yesterday and the result was very good. All is normal. I wish the results of the next CT scans will also show normal results too. My onco required me to have CT scan for the chest and lower abdomen. He also required me to do another bone scan. Lets wish and pray that results will show I am cancer free already.

Last year, after my surgery, I used to drink a lot of Goji juice and the e excel products. I had to stop using them though months ago due to lack of funds. Only the provimin is maintained with lots of vitamins like Vit. C (fern C) iron and centrum silver. The provimin keeps me away from blood transfusion. As per my blood exam yesterday the creatinin and the blood count is normal. My present oncologist, actually prescribes supplements now. He claims that supplements boost the immune system especially after chemo. I say amen to that! I am so lucky that I have an onco who believes in supplements. Other medical practitioners would never prescribe supplements.

Many cancer patients I know have died due to chemo, radiation or infection. Others die after trasfusion due to the resistance of the body to the new blood put in. I have witnessed many cases of cancer deaths this year alone. I tell you, it is so depressing. You just cry for a friend who have given up all hope and have succumed to pain and death.

Last Thurs, when I had my chemo, I was so sad because I learned that another chemo classmate with my present doctor, died. We call each other classmates. We sit together for many sessions of chemo for many months. Each time we finish the infusion, we say, "good bye classmate! See you next month!" And it is sad when you learn that your chemo classmate is dead on the next session. She was an athlete, a very good tennis player. Her blood count went down so low and it was not controlled. She had blood transfusion twice, but her body was resisting the blood. The doctor ordered white blood transfusion but she died during the transfusion. She had seizure and died. Please pray for the soul of Lydia Lopez.

Today, the husband of another carewell (cancer support group) friend txted for help and prayers. He said his wife, Marissa was rushed again to the hospital after the chemo. The chemo was too damaging on her and she's at the brink of giving up, (being at the brink of death). Its not a nice feeling seing your classmates in chemo die, or members of your support group die week after week, month after month. Most of them die due to chemotherapy. They couldnt take the side effects (blood count falls down and transfusion comes in. Its an endless cycle). After the chemo, one normally gets drowsy, vomits and couldnt eat for a week. If your body is too weak, you will surely die.

My doctor sees the evidence of supplements in the patients thats why he is actually prescribing it now. I have taken a lot of supplements when I still had the budget that is why my former doctor was so amazed why the cancer was contained after 3 yrs of being diagnosed. If only I had budget for e excel, i could have continued it and maybe I did not need the mastectomy.

Well, all of this MAYBE and IFs are now water under the bridge. I have undergone the surgery but now, the lump is back again in the same area. After spending millions of pesos, after undergoing a lot of pain and stressful medical protocol. Only God knows what is next.

I gain strength from prayers.....prayers i devote and prayers you all devote for me. It's a miracle that I am still alive now after the metastases in the bones, liver and lungs. It's a miracle i am still cheering up cancer patients who call or txt. It's a miracle I am still teaching qi gong and and pilates to anybody who needs it. It's a miracle I can do the house chores each day, waking up daily, still hoping, still trying hard to be cheerful amidst the pains of the medical procedure and pains in the different parts of the body. It's a miracle God sends people to help me with my needs. It's a miracle each day I wake up alive!

There are times when I feel tired of all the treatments and medical procedures. I ask God "When is this all gonna end?" I cry and say to God, its been years, Lord! You just have to say the word and I will be healed! You are the mighty one. Nothing is impossible with you! This tiny lump is nothing! You can tell the mountain to jump to the sea and it will jump! Why is this tiny lump still here in my left chest then? I cannot understand why?Until when should i bear the pains and the stressful medical procedures? Until when Lord?

At times, I also want to give it all up. But prayers keep me going. I thank you all for your help and prayers. It is the miracle of prayer that keeps me alive up to this day. It is the miracle of prayer that keeps me carry my cross with tears and rejoicing, bewildered, yet hopeful of a happy ending. It is the miracle of prayer that makes me proclaim I am healed in Jesus name! Alleluya!

May we all pray together as one family and ask God to bring forth in our midst a natural cure for cancer (be it fruit or vegetable), so that chemotherapy and radiation and other damaging synthetic drugs will be put in the world of oblivion, a part of medical history, never to be used again. Amen!

Just sharing my thoughts with you today! God bless us all!

Two weeks ago, I visited a sick neighbor.  The wife was crying to me because the doctor diagnosed her husband with throat cancer with lung metastases.  He was given three months to live.  The way I saw how the patient acted, I thought to myself he would not last that long.  He died only six days after the diagnosis. 

I had to be silent, not only because I honestly felt depressed in some ways, but I had to contain myself, to pray for them and to pray for myself not to be so much affected.  I would be a hypocrite if I say that I do not get worried, scared or concerned about my condition, watching them die of cancer, seing how cancer is spreading like wildfire.  Right now, there are six cases of cancer within a seventy meter radius from where I live.

Since I had my chemo two Fridays ago, I have been having headaches, dizziness and numbness in my head.  Even my eye area is aching.  I had to consult my doctor again and tell him about it.  Tomorrow, I am scheduled to undergo Brain CT scan at 2PM.  Nuclear dye and a lot of radiation will rain on my system again.  Funny how cancer treatment is.  They say radiation causes cancer, yet, they use radiation for treatment, and each time patients have medical exams, they are exposed to so much radiation.  Xrays, bone scan, CT scan, nuclear dye being injected--all these cause cancer.  In the three years of my cancer treatment, I have had so much exposure to radiation.  Chemotherapy damages the good cells although it also heals the cancer cells.  Isn’t there a cure for cancer which is not damaging the good body cells?

After the long silence, I am back.  I have gathered my senses back, I prayed hard for strength (both physical and spiritual), and here again I can stand looking up the skies, with both hands raised up praising God!  I am alive!  I am strong!  I can inspire other cancer patients to hope, to trust God, to be cheerful and happy each day, and to be prepared for the everlasting life in heaven! 

After spending long hours of kneeling and contemplating, crying and worrying, asking myself  what is there for me in the future, I realized I should spend my time not on asking what is there for me. Instead, I should begin the work again--to do something for others.  For it is written, whoever loves his life, loses it, but he who lives his life for others will have everlasting life.

I have had the cancer since 2005.  My funds have been depleted due to the cost of medication, chemotherapy, surgery and medical examinations.  For this reason, I was recommended by one of my batch mates in high school to seek the financial aid from Phil. Charity Sweepstakes Office (PCSO).

Last Tuesday, Jan. 20, 2009, I went to the PCSO at around 7:30am.  I carried an endorsement letter from a good and kind hearted official working in that office.  It was a blessing I had an endorsement letter that day.  If not, I will have to line up in another building nearby where hundreds fall in line. 

As I waited for my turn to be interviewed and accommodated at PCSO from 7:30am to 4pm that day, I learned a lot of things.  A new door opened right before my eyes. I learned how it is to be treated like a pauper and shooed away like a stray dog. I wanted to cry but i looked at the bright side.  I am lucky I carried an endorsement letter.  Others who don’t have an endorsement letter stay there for days before they are interviewed.  

I saw and learned that 200 people go to PCSO to ask for financial assistance daily.  If the guard says "Cut off na" you just have to return the following day.  I also analyzed that if you depend on it completely, your patient will be dead before the help you need comes.  After a days wait, you have to canvass the price, and after they decide, you wait for about 10 days before the medicine is given, and the medicine given is limited to 10,000 pesos. Those who do not have letter of endorsement get 10,000 pesos assistance.  Those who have endorsement letters may get more.  I got this feedback from friends who have asked help and the others who sat there with me.

 Some say that you must do the same procedure every chemotherapy session.  Even if your doctor says you need 6 or 8 cycles, they will require you to get the medicine per cycle.  This thing I still have to find out when they release the medicine i requested.  If this is true, it would seem like I should be there daily for the next 6 months of my chemotherapy!

Now, after that soul searching experience, I realized that there are so many of our countrymen suffering from cancer and kidney problems.  Many are there because of dialysis.  I realized also that there are so many of our countrymen dying without medical assistance.  May the government give better medical insurance to all its  citizens.

The realization that there is an agency called PCSO giving at least P10,000 per head to 200 patients per day is worth thanking God for.  We just pray and wish though, that help gets to the patient before he dies.  May they set up a better procedure so that help could be given in a day or two?  I was lucky to have a kind hearted friend inside who gave me an endorsement letter. That saved me a lot of time (maybe days) waiting at the queue.

Lets us all join in prayer to ask God to bless our country and the Filipino government with honesty and integrity so that the funds for the people will be given to them.  May the government officials realize that every Filipino is entitled to medical insurance, good education and safe, comfortable living in his own country. There is hope for the poor, there is medicine for the sick, there is food in every table, we have good and honest politicians who run for public office to serve the people, and most of all, there is God's hand touching each of us, touching our families, giving HOPE to all of us.  The Philippines is a very rich country.  There is no reason why the Filipinos should not be rich!