After undergoing modified radical mastectomy and surviving the gruesome side effects of chemotherapy, a friend of mine told me that I am like a reconditioned engine.  Another friend said that I am now living on borrowed time.  How do I feel about these comments?  I feel BLESSED!  I feel blessed that I had the opportunity to undergo the best reconditioning that I could have.  And I feel blessed that my Creator gave me another breath of life.

I was diagnosed with Stage 2A breast cancer in October 2006.  It was like a death sentence.  Each day of my life since then, I felt like I was dying.  I was dying each time I tried to stop myself from asking “Why me, Oh Lord?”; each time I saw the pain this cancer was causing my family; each time I tried to imagine the future and realized that so many things will change.  Why now?  Why me?  But then, why not now?, why not me?

In the midst of confusion and uncertainty, I found solace in the knowledge that so many people were praying for me.  I am lucky to be surrounded by loving people – my family, my relatives, my officemates, my MDMEC, my classmates and my friends.  The love and support I received simply overwhelmed me.  There were times that I felt I did not deserve all the attention.  So many people tried their best to inspire me so I would desire to go on, so I would have more reasons to fight for my life.

Prayer kept me going.  It kept me sane and it kept me breathing.  Cancer gave me the chance to have a longer and deeper prayer time.  My being has not been as connected to a higher Being.

I will not let this experience pass without sharing the lessons that it has taught me.  Lessons that I already knew but needed some relearning.  Foremost of the lessons is to live one day at a time.  All my life, I have been a planner, a dreamer and an achiever.  I realized that no matter how organized one’s life is, things may crumble in one snap.  But there is always consolation in the knowledge that in the middle of the debris, God ensures that the things essential shall remain, float and shine.

Another important lesson is that I really do not own my life.  Any moment, the Owner could decide to bring it back to where it should belong.  So while waiting for that time, I need to ensure that my way of living is aligned to the Owner’s purpose of why I am here.

I am aware that my life would never be the same again.  I resolve not to waste a single moment by worrying and fretting.  Each day shall be treated as if it will be the last and therefore must be spent and experienced to its fullest.  I am determined to live in the fullness of the “now”.  Looking back, I have great joy in tracing the hands of God throughout my journey.  God never left me empty.  He used every opportunity to assure me of His presence.  So many things happened which made me realize that God prepared me for this experience.  And I learned the truth in the line that says, “If He brings you to it, He will take you through it.”  Whatever His purpose, I intend to discover in the days to come.

Cancer succeeded in getting my left breast from me, but it will not succeed in getting my life.  It succeeded in making me less physically, but it will not succeed in making me less of a woman, less of a person.  More so, it will not succeed in making me less of a child of God.